Life's Surprises
by NALEY23alwaysforever
Summary: Drama, Love, Family, Friendship, Linstead. Co-Written with my friend Brinkley! Will include other CPD characters and may include CFD or CMD :)
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey guys! So my friend Brinkley (Cpd12_ on twitter) and I are co-writing this story together, the main plot was her idea and we kept talking about it and figured why not write it together! So, each chapter will be written by a different person but it will all flow as one story. We hope you like it :)**

Chapter 1 - Written by Brinkley

Jay woke slowly and reached out to the other side of the bed, only to feel cold sheets beneath his fingers. His attentions diverted to the sound of the shower running as Erin began her morning routine. The sunlight streams through the window and Jay squints his eyes open gently to try and avoid the gliding light. He had so many thoughts running through his head as he thought of everything he had to do today. He heard Erin turn the shower off and he got up to make Erin a decaf coffee like he did every morning.

Erin stepped out of the steaming bathroom, drying her hair as she headed into their room. She cringed as she heard a grinding noise pierce her ears. What the hell was Jay doing out there?

"What's that noise?" Erin called out from the bedroom.

"Yeah...It's just this- dammit!" Erin chuckled at her boyfriend's response as she made her way into the kitchen.

They'd only been living together for two weeks and Jay was still getting the hang of the coffee machine. Erin found it amusing when he got annoyed with the machine, cursing at it for being 'so damn difficult'.

Erin walked into the lounge room wearing nothing but a baggy t-shirt and underwear. Her hair was still wet as she pulled it to the side, staring at Jay lovingly from across the room as she laughed at him.

"Jay, you're still doing it wrong... Remember what I told you? You have to turn the switch." Erin said with a smile. She would normally get annoyed and tell him that he was ruining her coffee machine, but he was too cute to be frustrated at.

Jay rolled his eyes "I swear this thing hates me." Erin walked into the the kitchen and wrapped her arms around his waist.

"You think Voight would be mad if we were twenty minutes late?" she bit her lip seductively.

Jay smiled cheekily; "As much as I would love that I have plans for us tonight. So it'll just have to wait. I don't want to stay back because we pissed off Voight." he pulled away gently and reached to get a coffee cup.

"What plans?" Erin eyed him suspiciously.

"It's a surprise" Jay replied as Erin groaned. She hated surprises, but Jay was determined not to tell her "I'm going to go have a shower."

"You're not gonna be able to keep it a secret all day!" She yelled out as he entered the bedroom. "You suck at lying babe."

Jay just smirked back at her as he walked into the bathroom.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed it made mine and Brinkley's day! We've even gotten to talk to a few on you on twitter and Fanfiction which was awesome and we love the responses we're getting for this story. We'll try to get the chapters longer, we're just still figuring out the plan for the story!**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 2 - Written by Maddie.

Luckily for Jay, it had been a relatively slow day for the Intelligence Unit. They spent most of the day completing their paperwork for the last case they had and then checked in with their CIs. They had been assigned a new case that evening, and Jay worried that they would not be able to leave for the night but fortunately Hank decided that the case could wait until tomorrow morning, when everyone was well-rested and ready to focus and get the job done.

Erin wasn't sure whether to be nervous or excited at Jay's gleeful nature as he practically dragged her out of the locker room. She could tell he was excited for what he had planned and even though Jay knew she was _not_ a surprise kind of person, she was still intrigued to see what he had planned.

"What are you doing?" Erin asks when she reaches the car.

Jay looks up from her as she looks at him through the window "What?"

"You're in my seat Halstead."

"Come on Er, You can't drive if you don't know where we're going." He says with a smirk.

Erin narrows her eyes at him "This was your plan all along wasn't it? Plan a surprise just so you could drive."

Jay rolls his eyes as he replies sarcastically "Yes Erin. I planned a nice surprise for you just so I could get to drive."

"Well, sucks for you, because I'm driving buddy."

"Erin." Jay whines "I planned out a whole night's surprise for you, I went all out. Can you _please_ just me let drive?"

"… Fine." Erin groans and drags her feet along to the other side of the car and sitting down in the passenger seat.

Jay looks at her and smiles sweetly "I love you."

"Yeah yeah." Erin rolls her eyes, trying to hide her smile.

"I promise, it'll be worth it….I hope." He lets out a soft chuckle, holding her hand in one of his.

* * *

"Jay, come on! This is ridiculous!" Erin yelled as Jay lead her out of the car.

"I promise, it's not too much further." Jay whispers against her ear.

Erin was currently blindfolded, Jay's hands on her waist guiding her in the direction they needed to go.

"How did I let you take to me into this?" She mumbled to herself.

"Because, you love me, and I know that you trust me. Right?" Jay says.

"I trust you." Erin repeats.

She can practically hear Jay's smile in his soft laughter. She can feel the anxiety leaving her body, and the excitement starts to build in. She trusts Jay.

"We're almost there, I promise." Jay says.

"It's freezing! Where the hell are we?" Erin exclaimed.

"I kept it a surprise this long, you think I'm going to spoil now!?" He remarks sarcastically.

"Alright alright, I'm sorry. I just want to know!"

Jay can't help but laugh again at her impatience "Well, we're here now." Jay says and removes her blindfold.

Erin stares in shock as she takes in the National park. More specifically, the ice rink in the centre of the grass, and all the kids gliding around on the frozen ice.

"Why did you bring me here?" Erin asks turning to face Jay.

"I know the past few weeks have been tough on you, work's been none stop and with Bunny trying to get back in your life and everything else. And I remember you telling me that you never got to go ice skating as a kid, you said it was a dream of yours. So, I wanted to make one of your dreams come true." Jay smiles sheepishly.

Erin stares at him in complete awe. No on head ever done anything like this for her in her entire life, no one had ever cared this deeply or loved her this much. Tears began to brim in Erin's eyes as she pulls Jay towards her, kissing him fiercely as she wraps her arms around him.

"I love you so much right now." Erin whispers breathlessly when they pull apart.

"Only right now?" Jay smirks.

"Always." She emphasises "Thank you, no one's ever done this for me."

Jay shrugs "You deserve this and more Erin." He states like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

"Can we go?" Erin says excitedly, her eyes lighting up in an almost childlike way.

Jay smiles taking her hand within his and pulling her with him "Let's go."

 **Please review, have a good weekend!  
** **~ Maddie & Brinkley :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thanks for all the reviews everyone, we really appreciate it :)**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 3 - Brinkley

Jay finished lacing up his ice skates before looking across at Erin, he noticed the child like happiness that was written all over her face before had suddenly disappeared.

"What's wrong" his brows furrowed in concern. Erin hesitated before looking at him, she smiled forcefully.

"Nothing... it's stupid" she tucked her hair behind her ear. Jay sat his hand on hers.

"Was this to much?" Jay asked nervously.

"No, no of course not. This is really sweet" she smiled "It's just. When I was around eight my dad promised me he'd take me here... of course he never did though" she laughed to dull the edge. Jay sat up straight.

"We can go somewhere else if you want? Go and get some food?" He suggested; but Erin could see the disappointment on his face. She shook her head.

"Nah, it'll be much more fun with you anyway right?" She stood up and held her hand out "so now you have to teach me how to actually do this" Jay smiled and took Erin's hand.

On the ice Jay attempted to show Erin how to skate but her clumsiness made it difficult for her to even stand straight. Erin held on to Jays arm with the tightest grip.

"Look you're getting the hang of it" Jay cheered "I think you can let go now" but Erin only hung on tighter.

"If I let go I'll die. Seriously, I will fall and die" Erin said seriously; Jay laughed at her "it's not funny!" She added while starting to laugh herself.

Jay got into the drivers seat, Erin already waiting for him. She stared at him in awe, a massive grin on her face.

"Thank you" she said while starting at him lovingly.

"For taking you ice skating or being your balance for the evening" he joked; Erin punched his shoulder.

"I'm serious! Thank you. It may not seem like a big deal to you but no one's ever..." she hesitated "no one has ever loved me the way you do" Jay smiled briefly before reaching over the seat to kiss Erin. Something he wanted to do the whole night.

It was relatively late when they arrived home and all Erin wanted was a bath.

She sat down and was embraced by Jays arms; they didn't speak, they didn't have to, just being next to each other was enough for them.

* * *

The next morning the two of them woke up in each others arms on the couch.

"I am never sleeping on this thing again" Jay stretched his back as Erin sat up rubbing her tired eyes. She got up and went to the kitchen.

"You have the first shower and I'll make some food" she said to Jay as he sat up.

"Alright... oh and if you're making coffee can you not use full cream milk can you use-" he was cut off before he could continue.

"Almond milk. Yes I know" she teased "I still don't get the difference but whatever" she laughed while holding her hands up; Jay smiled as she joked about with him.

After Jay left Erin took a moment to herself. She thought about how perfect last night's surprise was and she even laughed at herself for being so scared, she didn't even know why. But what she did know was that she was madly in love with Jay.

At the district Commander Crowley said she had some news for the unit.

"Now that Greg is gone you're in need of a new tech guy, and since you're in capable of hiring someone Sargent" she looked at voight "I hired someone myself. Meet Candice Miller" a tall blonde haired woman stood beside commander Crowley.

"Hi, nice to meet you all" she shook everyone's hands politely "My friends call me Candy by the way"

"Were you a stripper in your past life or something?" Ruzek joked at her nickname

"I expect you all to welcome Candice into the unit" Commander Crowley said sternly "that includes you sergeant"

Voight glared at Candice as he walked towards her

"Voight" he held his hand out to introduced himself, Candice's bubbly smile dulled and she bowed her head and nodded.

"Nice to meet you sergeant"

Burgess had been in intelligence for a couple months now; she scooted her desk chair across to Erin.

"What do you think of her?" Burgess whispered, Erin laughed.

"I just met her"

"You're a cop! Shouldn't you have some kind of instinct about these things" Both Kim and Erin had grown closer since Burgess moved upstairs. And not just cause their desks are beside each other.

"You're an idiot" Erin teased

Meanwhile Atwater showed Candice to her desk, the desk that was once mouses.

Throughout the day Candice was quite chatty and had a lot to say; she grew up in Wisconsin and moved to New York when she was eighteen for schooling. She was offered the position in intelligence and couldn't pass it up, so she moved to Chicago.

Erin rolled her eyes, Candice was nice but she was sick of hearing about her life story.

"There's files down stairs. You should probably read over them" Erin said abruptly. Candice got the vibe Erin wasn't one to mess with. They glared at each other for a moment before Candice smiled.

"You're right. You guys are busy and I'm just talking your ears off" she laughed as she got up from her desk and left the room.

The unit stared at Erin.

"What" Erin snapped.

"That was kind of rude" Burgess said while trying not to sound judgemental.

"You heard her. We have work to do and so does she" Erin tried to justify herself.

Jay watched Erin go back to the work on hid desk. Burgess was right, and Jay was beginning to get the feeling that Erin didn't like Candice for some reason.

 **A/N: Hope you liked this chapter, please review guys we would really like to know what you think about out story :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Hope you like this chapter :)**

 **In response to a PM we got - I don't think we established it in the first chapters, but Erin and Jay have already said I love you.**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 4 - Maddie

Erin rubbed her eyes as she finished the last of her paperwork. Most of the team had left, Jay was waiting for her to finish up so they could head home. There case today hadn't been too hard to solve, but Erin had extra paperwork since she had fired her weapon during their takedown. She stood up and stretched her body tiredly, grabbing her coffee cup and heading into the break room.

"Hey Jay, are you ready to -" Erin stopped short as she heard the voices coming from the room.

"You can't be serious!" Jay exclaimed "I can't believe it!"

"I swear, the amount of times I've gotten sick after swimming in that lake!" Candice laughed in response.

Erin stands in the doorway, watching the two interact, and she can feel the anger rising within her watching them. She has a bad feeling about Candice, and if there's one thing she's learnt from being a cop, it's to always trust your instinct. Jay, however, doesn't seem to share the same feelings she does. He's made a friend, and for some reason that annoys her even more.

"Am I interrupting?" Erin smiles sweetly walking into the room fully, placing her cup in the sink before standing next to Jay waiting for an answer. Jay smiles down at her laying his arm over her shoulder.

"You won't believe this Erin, Candy actually lived near me in Wisconsin!" Jay smiles at her.

"Did she really?" Erin says trying to show interest.

"Yeah, we lived one street over from each other." Candice laughs "We were reliving war stories about that lake."

"And, as I was saying, the lake is not toxic! Obviously if you don't wear proper swimwear when you go in, you're going to catch a cold."

"I had the flu! I'm telling you that lake has got something in it!" Candy giggles back.

Erin resists the urge to roll her at Candice; could this girl be any more annoying?

"So, I hate to break up the party, but I've finished all my paperwork. You ready to head home?" Erin cuts into the conversation.

Jay nods his head and looks towards Candice "This conversation is not over." He tells her with a smirk.

"We'll see about that!" Candice winks before walking out of the break room.

The moment she disappears around the corner, Jay feels Erin's arm pull away from him. His smile turns to a frown and he quickly grabs her hand before she can move away from him completely.

"Are you okay?" Jay asks softly, reaching over to push a loose strand of hair behind her ear before his hand falls to her cheek.

Erin falls into his touch, her anger dissipating for a few moments. She lets out a soft sigh before answering him.

"Just tired. It's been a long day, I'm beyond ready to curl up into bed and go to sleep."

Jay smiles gently, seemingly satisfied with her answer "Well let's get you home then."

Erin nods and Jay takes her hand in his, the two walking towards the locker room to collect their belongings and head home for the night.

* * *

Jay watches Erin as they quietly eat their dinner on the couch, the TV serving as background noise. She's been off all day, really she's been off ever since Candice arrived. But every time he asks her if she's okay, she tells him she's tired, or fine, or that it was a rough case. And while all those excuses are valid, he knows her. He knows when something's wrong.

"You should paint a picture." Erin snaps "It'll last longer."

Jay can feel his face heating up "Sorry." He says sheepishly looking at his meal.

Erin sighs putting her fork plate down on the coffee table in front of them, turning to face Jay.

"Get it out." Erin says "Whatever you're dying to say, spit it out. Because you staring is starting to creep me out."

"I can't admire my beautiful girlfriend?" Jay smirks.

Erin stares blankly at him "Don't deflect the situation Jay. Talk to me."

"Bit hypocritical wouldn't you say."

He doesn't even realize he's said it until the words are out of his mouth. His eyes widen as he looks at Erin, waiting for her reaction.

"Excuse me!?" She exclaims "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means you've been acting weird for the past few days, and every single time I ask you what's wrong, you lie to my face!"

"I have not!" Erin yells back.

Jay scoffs "Oh please, I know you Erin. Something else is going on and you won't tell me what."

"I don't know what you're talking about. I'm just -"

"Tired." Jay cuts her off "That's not it and you know it. You've been acting weird ever since Candy arrived. Is that what this is about."

"... This is ridiculous. I'm going to bed." Erin said jumping up off the couch and heading to their bedroom.

"It is isn't it!? You don't like her!" Jay exclaimed following after her.

"Forget about it, I'm going to bed."

Jay stopped in his spot at the entry to their bedroom, watching as Erin changed into her nightwear; aggressively opening and shutting each drawer and cupboard she looked through in the process. It was all falling into place in his mind; her affectionate touches and holds every time Candice was around, how she'd be distant and annoyed with him when she saw them talking. He couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his face.

"Erin Lindsay, are you jealous?"

"Please. What do I have to be jealous of?" Erin scoffed, mumbling "Just because she loves to flirt with everything that moves."

Jay lets out a soft laugh "You're actually jealous."

Erin glares at him "You keep laughing at me, see what it gets you."

Jay lifts his hands up in surrender, slowly walking towards the bed where Erin is now tucked under the blankets facing him. He cautiously lays down on top of the blankets, bringing one arm to lay over her waist and tucking the other one under his head to rest on.

"You know you have nothing to worry about, right?" Jay whispers into the quiet.

Erin sighs softly " She's too flirty with you.I don't like it."

Jay pulls her closer so that her body is snug against his, holding her tight "But I'm not flirting back Erin. She can try all she wants, I'm not going to make a move. Don't you trust me?"

"Of course I do!" She exclaims locking her eyes with his "I just ... I don't trust _her._ "

"You don't have to Erin, you just have to know that I would _never_ do anything. I love you so much Erin Lindsay, more than you'll ever know. At the risk of scaring you off, you're the only one I want to be with. I'm not going anywhere, no matter what."

Erin smiles "You could never scare me off."

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure the first time I tried to make us a serious thing, you bolted."

"Hey!" Erin smacks her hand against his chest "That's not fair, we'd been dating for like a month!"

Jay laughs "That's true."

Erin lets out a little laugh as well, laying her head on his chest, his heartbeat lulling her to sleep.

"Erin." Jay says.

"Hhmm?" She mumble, eyes still shut.

"Are we okay?"

Erin places a kiss against his shirt-covered chest, nodding her head slightly "We're more than okay."

"I love you." He mumbles tiredly.

Erin smiles "I know. I love you too."

 **A/N: So, I know it was a bit of a quick resolution, but there's still some more drama to come ...**

 **Please review if you're reading they make us so happy and we love knowing what our readers think of the story and what they'd like to see happen :)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Thanks for the review last chapter, please keep them coming!**

Chapter 5 - Brinkley

Erin and Jay push through the crowd of people standing around the entrance of a small and narrow alleyway. They duck underneath the crime tape before being greeted by Burgess.

"What have we got?" Erin asked while rubbing her palms together, attempting to warm them up.

"Caucasian female, hands and feet were bound with cable ties and she had nothing but shoes on" Burgess said trying to compose herself; this was going to be a difficult case.

Ruzek kneeled down and pulled the cover back from the victims face; everyone's faces dropped.

"She's just a kid..." Jay said.

Everyone was silent, trying to process what they've just found out before Voight broke the silence.

"Okay, this girl. She's what? Fifteen, sixteen years old? Which means she's got a family and they're gonna wanna know what happened to her. So let's do our jobs, put our emotions aside and find who did this to her" Voight said sternly.

Erin looked down at the limp, lifeless body and couldn't help but think of when they found Nadia in New York.

"I'll go with forensics and wait for them to do the autopsy... I wanna know what happened to this girl" Erin said as the morgue van backed into the alleyway.

* * *

"Lindsay just texted we've got an ID, our victim's name is Sophie Walker; she was supposed to turn 16 next week" Adam

said while staring at his phone.

"Do they have a cause of death confirmed?" Olinsky asked.

"Lindsay's on her way back with the report now ... she said it's pretty gruesome"

Outside Erin was walking into the back entrance of the district where she was met by Candice.

"Hey... I'm so sorry about this case and what you guys saw earlier tonight. Are you okay?" Candice said in what seemed like a sarcastic tone to Erin.

"I'm fine" she bluntly replied. Candice sighed deeply.

"What's your problem?"

"I'm sorry?" Erin retorted.

"I have been nothing but kind to you... and you treat me like dirt!" Candice snapped.

"You asked me a question, I answered. Now get out of my face!" Erin pushed past Candice forcing her out of the way. This case had her overwhelmed enough and didn't need to be dealing with Candice right now.

She walked upstairs and shoved the file at Voight's chest, she was fuming.

"What's up with you?" Voight dared to ask.

"Nothing"

"Clearly" he added while opening the file.

"Has anyone contacted her parents?" Erin asked.

"Nah. Not yet" Said ruzek.

"She's been dead for almost eleven hours and you haven't even contacted her family..." Erin's voice started to get louder.

"Geez, you only told me her name like an hour ago. How was I supposed to contact them if I didn't even know who she was?" Said ruzek as he attempted to defuse what he thought would turn into an argument "I'll do it now" he added.

"Don't bother, I'll do it myself." Erin snatched her phone and a piece of paper and went into the locker room.

"What the hell was that about?" Ruzek snorted.

Jay followed Erin into the locker room; he leaned against the door frame and watched Erin pacing back and forth in an attempt to calm herself down. She spotted him a few moments later and he walked towards her, his hands resting on her arms.

"Talk to me... what's wrong?"

"It's just... it's just this case, I mean she is a child Jay. She is fifteen years old and she went through that!" Erin's eyes watered with anger "did you read the report? Did you see what happened to her?! After going through all that she was just left in an alleyway to die!" Erin gasped for air before bursting into tears. Jay could see this case was hurting her and there was nothing he could say to change that; so he held her. He held her until began to calm down, until her tears subsided. He held her until she was composed and ready to find the person who did this; he knew that was the only thing that would help her now, and their team was going to make sure they found this animal.

* * *

Jay hurried down the stairs to 'the den' where Candy works. It felt weird for him going down those stairs and knowing Mouse would no longer be there to greet him with a beer and a chat, but he liked Candice being there too and even thought she couldn't replace his best friend she was a nice person and Jay knew she was a good fit for the job.

"Hey" Jay smiled briefly.

"Hey you" Candice replied flirtatiously. "What's up?"

Jay placed a massive stack of papers on her desk.

"I need you to go through these and find a girl named Sophie Walker. She's our victim and we can't track her family down. Of course she's not in the data base because Crowley screened it deleting old files, so we gotta go old school and go through the paper copies"

"This is going to take me hours!" Candice groaned "Hey, you wanna stay back tonight and help me?" She looked up at Jay with a smirk.

"Uh. I don't think that's a good idea..." Jay stepped back in discomfort. Candice sighed.

"Because of Lindsay?" She rolled her eyes a little.

"No... Look Candice I'm sorry if I've given you the wrong impression but Erin is way too important to me and to be honest I'm not interested in you that way."

"Jay... we're just friends. It's not your fault Erin can't see that... she made that very clear this morning" Candice mumbled while flicking through a file. Jay furrowed his brow.

"What are you talking about?"

Candice looked up at him in faux surprise "She didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

Candice shook her head looking at her file again "Never mind."

"Candy, what the hell happened?"

"I asked her if she was okay this morning and she practically bit my head off. And I get it, you've been together for a while she's special to you and whatever" Candice stoop up and gripped Jays hand "but I don't think she's right for you... And I can see there's tension between you guys."

"It's a very stressful case, everyone's tension is running high." Jay said defensively.

Candy reached over and quickly gave his shoulder a gentle pat "All I'm saying is if you ever want to talk, I'm here."

Jay stood there confused. Maybe Erin was right and Candice really did like him. But Erin told him that she trusted him, so what was she having a go at Candy for? He left awkwardly before Candice could say anything else. Candice watched as Jay left and she smiled, a small sense of hope stirring within her at the potential conflict she may have caused.

Back upstairs Erin was making herself some tea in the break room when Jay came rushing in.

"Did you yell at Candy this morning?" He asked straight away.

Erin was quiet for a moment, having been caught off guard by his question, before she hesitantly nodding.

"It wasn't in a mean way, I was having a bad night and-" Jay cut her off before she could explain herself.

"Why!? Why do you hate her so much? There's always an excuse with you Erin and I'm getting tired of it. Honestly, I never would have pictured you as the jealous type. Especially not like this! You're letting it impact our work!"

"My personal relationship with her doesn't have anything to do with work! Not that you would understand even if I told you! And since when is it a crime to be annoyed or upset when someone is blatantly flirting with your boyfriend and he completely ignores it? In fact, you encourage her! You don't tell her to stop or anything and that hurts Jay! And if the situation were reversed you would be acting a lot worse than I am right now!" Before Jay could reply Olinsky walked in shutting the door behind him quickly.

"Halstead, take a walk. We've gotta suit up, Ruzek found a potential suspect. The two of you need to cool off and focus on this case right now."

Jay looked at Erin once last time before storming out of the break room and heading to the locker room.

* * *

Later that night they had their perp in custody and everyone was packing up to continue the case tomorrow. Jay sighed as he logged off his computer, looking around in confusion when he couldn't spot his partner.

"Where's Erin?" Jay asked Burgess.

"She left about half an hour ago. She seemed pretty upset."

Everyone had left but Jay stayed at his desk. He knew he should go home and sort everything out with Erin, but he was still mad and he knew Erin was too; they were both too emotional to have a proper talk. So, instead of going home to Erin, Jay did just about the stupidest thing he could have done and went downstairs.

"Hey." Jay said standing in the doorway "I think I will take you up on that offer to go through the files."

Candice's face lit up.

"Awesome!" She smiled "Is everything okay?" She added noticing Jay's behaviour.

Jay nodded "Yeah, I just need some space from home you know?"

Candice nodded as if she understood, handing Jay a file to read through while trying to suppress her grin at how well everything worked out.

By now everyone had left the office and Jay was still downstairs with Candice reading files. He dropped another finished file onto the desk picking up another one.

"What a day..." He groaned tiredly.

"I thought I'd order us some food, we're gonna be here a while." Candice laughed taking out two beers from the mini fridge.

"I'm gonna need more than one to get through this all this crap." He joked indicating to the mountain of files they still had to read.

Jay couldn't help the wave of guilt that washed over him, and how bad he felt over their argument. What was it that Erin didn't think he would understand? Part of him felt guilty that instead of going home to woman he loved, he was here with Candice.

...

Three hours later and four beers each Jay started to feel uncomfortable and tired.

"Look, I should really go home ..." He insisted, but Candice wasn't having any of it.

"Don't be silly! It'll be easier to get these done now rather than later."

Candice subtly rested her hand on Jay's upper thigh, trying to fake innocence. Jay stood up immediately, Candice's hand falling back to her side, while he muttered something that she couldn't quite hear.

"I think it's time I go." Jay just wanted to be with Erin. He wanted to hold her and feel her warmth as they lay in bed like they did every night. He wanted to apologise for being so rude earlier today. He just wanted to go home to his girl.

"It's fine." Candy tried to brush off the rejection "We got through most of these, plus I could use some sleep too."

Jay grabbed his jacket and bag and began to walk out of the door, but Candy grabbed his hand and pulled him into a hug. Jay's arms stayed stiff at his side, not wanting to give her any ideas.

"Thanks for all your help Jay." She whispered.

"It's fine." He said quickly, pulling away from her.

Candice reached up on her toes and pushed her lips against his before Jay could fully move away from her. He stood shocked for a second before quickly pulling his lips away from hers and pushing her away from him.

"What the hell!?" Jay exclaimed wiping his mouth against his sleeve.

Candy chuckled awkwardly, trying to think of an excuse "I'm so sorry Jay! It was probably just the beer...I'm a bit of a lightweight."

Jay scoffed "Please, I saw you drink at least _double_ that amount when we all took you out your first night here. This was intentional, you knew _exactly_ what you were doing."

"Jay, I-" Candy stuttered but Jay cut her off.

"I thought we were friends! I told you earlier that I wasn't interested in you! Why the hell would you kiss me?"

"I like you Jay." Candy muttered, trying her best to look shy.

"Well I don't like you, not like that. I have a girlfriend, one I love _very_ much, I'm not risking everything we've built together because you have some deluded idea that I'd ever be with you! You need to stay the hell away from me Candice. As far as I'm concerned, the only 'relationship' we have is in a professional capacity."

And with that Jay stormed upstairs and out of the office.

* * *

The entire way home Jay felt like he was going to be sick. He couldn't believe he had let this happen. Erin was suspicious of Candice from day one; She knew what kind of girl Candice was, maybe he did too. Maybe he just didn't want admit it. Part of him like the attention, that he could talk to her about things like Wisconsin without having jokes thrown at him about how it's a 'crack den'. But Erin was the only girl he wanted, needed, in his life. She was the only person he ever wanted to be with, no matter what.

Inside the apartment the hallway light was left on so that he could see when he got home, and Erin's thoughtful gesture Jay only felt guiltier about tonight's events.

Jay switched the lights off and walked carefully to their bedroom. The moon outside gave Jay just enough light for Jay to see that Erin was asleep, curled up on her side of the bed, her head however resting on Jay's pillow with another pillow tucked to her chest. Jay quickly changed and then sat down on the edge of the bed and rubbed his face tiredly, his mind going out of control.

How does he tell her?

He feels movement against the mattress and then Erin's hand gently touching his back "Babe?" she whispers in a tired voice.

"Hey, did I wake you?" Jay whispered.

"It's okay, I don't sleep very well without you anyways." She pulled on his shoulder so that he'll turn around to look at her "I was going to wait for you at first, but then it got kind of late and I wasn't sure if you were going to come home."

"I'm sorry, I should've texted you." He says.

"It's fine Jay." She smiles softly.

"Erin ... I got to tell you something." Jay's voice sounded broken. Full of guilt and regret.

"Erin saw the look on his face and immediately sat up. Jay opened his mouth to speak but his phone rang out, indicating a new text message. He groaned frustratedly and quickly picked up his phone looking at the new text from Candice.

 _'Please don't tell Erin about what happened tonight. We need to talk first ... Please. I'm so sorry ~ Candice.'_

Jay paused, looking up at Erin's concerned face. He wasn't sure if he should listen to Candice and hear what she had to say first or be honest with Erin, she was his girlfriend after all. And they had promised to always tell each other the truth, no matter what.

"What is it?" Erin asked concerned.

Jay let out a soft sigh "I just feel really bad about our fight, that's all. And I missed you."

Erin smiled with relief "You idiot. I thought it was something bad!" She threw a pillow at him.

Jay laughed softly grabbing the pillow before it hit him "Come here." Erin whispered holding out her arms to him.

Jay took his shoes off and wrapped Erin in his arms with her head snuggled up against his chest as she let out a content sigh, her eyes closing gently as she let sleep overcome her once more. Jay however couldn't sleep. He still felt so guilty, but Erin looked so happy in this moment, he didn't wan't to hurt her. Now now. He needed to speak to Candice first, maybe she would want to keep the whole thing a secret and Erin would never have to get hurt...At least, that's what Jay was hoping for.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Happy CPD Day everyone! Thanks so much for reading! We hope you're enjoying it and thank you SO much to everyone who reviews, we love reading what you guys have to say so please leave us some more, feedback is always great!**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 6 - Maddie

Jay sighed as Erin's head hung over the toilet bowl. She had been battling a bad cold all week, and she didn't look to be improving any time soon.

It had been three days since his kiss with Candice. Three days of lying to Erin. Jay could feel the guilt eating at him, but he kept trying to persuade himself that this was the right thing to do. Erin wouldn't get hurt this way.

"I hate Ruzek." Erin groaned suddenly

Jay chuckled, wiping the damp towel he had over Erin's forehead "he's the worst."

"He better be off work today too. I'll kill him if he gets anyone else sick."

Jay chucked in agreement before helping Erin stand up and walk into the bedroom. His arm wrapped around her waist and he murmured disapprovingly when noticing he had lost some weight over the week. She had been quite weak physically and Hank had finally had enough and put her on sick leave for the next few days until she was better and could work efficiently.

"I got to get to work. Are you going to be okay?"

Erin nodded "I'll call Annie if I need anything."

"Call me first, and I'll see if I can come by. I'll be back at lunch alright?"

"Mhmm." Erin moaned tiredly.

Jay smiled "get some rest babe. I'll see you later." He spoke softly walking out of the apartment.

~LIFE'S SURPRISES~

"Hey." Candice smiled walking into the break room. Jay smiled back awkwardly, moving past her quickly.

"Jay, can we talk?" She said before he could fully escape. Jay let out a soft laugh at the irony of her statement.

...

"Can we talk?" Candice said as Jay walked into her work room.

"I don't have much time Candy, what do you want to say?"

" ... Please don't tell Erin about our kiss."

"Excuse me? You want me to lie to her!?" Jay exclaimed "I'm not doing that. I thought you wanted to apologise or something, not get me to cover up for you."

"Jay, please. She already dislikes me, I don't want her to hate me anymore."

"I just don't understand. Why the hell did you kiss me? You know I'm with Erin."

"I just...I felt this attraction to you. And some stupid part of my brain decided 'hey maybe if he knows we're interested it could lead somewhere'. I know now that I was wrong."

"I still want to be clear Candice. I'm with Erin. And I plan to be ALWAYS with Erin, for the rest of my life. I love her."

"I know." Candice nodded "I hope we can still be friends?"

"Look. I'm not going to tell Erin for now but ... I don't think that's such a good idea right now. I think we just need a little bit of space at the moment.

Candice nodded sadly "I understand. Thank you Jay."

...

Jay stopped and turned around "I think I've said all I need to say Candice."

"Jay, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said the things I did. i just ... I was jealous. It's no excuse, and I'm sorry about it all. Truly. I really hope we can be friends."

"I don't know." Jay sighed "I can't keep lying to Erin. She deserves the truth, and I'm not comfortable with keeping a secret like this."

"Jay ... She's going to hate me even more than she already does." Candice groaned "I don't want to make things more uncomfortable between us."

"Well no offence, but my relationship with her is more important than your discomfort with erin Candice. I'm going to tell her when I go and see her at lunch. I can't keep this from her anymore, I promised her no secrets and I intend to keep that promise." Jay says before walking out of the office and sitting at his desk to listen to Voight's instructions for the day.

~LIFE'S SURPRISES~

Erin woke slowly as she heard a pounding noise. As she came to, the realisation set in that someone was at the door, and Erin got up as quickly as she could in her current state of sickness. She walked groggily to the door and opened it slowly, groaning when she saw who it was.

"What are you doing here?" Erin bit out.

Candice smiled sheepishly "the team had to go out on a bust, Platt asked me to drop this off to you." She said holding out a bag of food.

"Great." Erin smiled stiffly taking the bag from her "thanks. Anything else?"

"Umm, yeah. I just want to make sure we're okay. You know, after everything Jay said I was worried you'd be really mad with me."

Erin frowned "what are you talking about?"

Candice tried to hide her smirk "I thought you knew? Jay said he told you ..."

"Cut the crap Candice. What did Jay supposedly tell me."

"Well about our kiss. I just wanted the chance to personally say I'm sorry. Hopefully when you return to work we can out this all behind us. I've been feeling so bad the past three days. I'm glad we finally got to talk."

Erin stood silently, taking in Candice's smug composure. She knew the only reason Candice said anything was because she knew Jay hadn't. And that's what upset her most; she and Jay had promised each other there would be no more secrets and barely a day later he broke that promise.

"You know what, I'm feeling quite tired. I'll see you at work." Erin muttered before slamming the door shut in Candice's face.

~LIFE'S SURPRISES~

Jay tiredly waking into the apartment, it had been an extremely long day with the IU team busting a major drug ring which had been supplying bad quality heroin to underage kids resulting in fatalities. The apartment was quiet and Jay walked softly into the living room expecting to see Erin curled up under a blanket on the couch. However, he was surprised when he saw his clothes strewn on the couch, along with a pillow and a sheet.

He ran to the bedroom and went to turn the knob but frowned when it wouldn't budge. Erin had locked him out. he banged his hand against the door frantically yelling out to her.

"Erin! Are you okay? What's going on?"

No response.

Jay leaned against the door pressing his ear to the door to listen; He could hear Erin's feet shuffling around behind the door and he sighed, knocking again.

"Erin, please open the door...Or at least let me know if you're okay. Please Erin, I need to talk to you." Jay whispered.

Jay stumbled as the door flew open unexpectedly fast, A furious Erin appearing "Oh, you mean like how you kissed Candice?" She growled.

"What?" Jay stuttered.

"You heard me! You kissed her!" Erin slapped her hand against his chest "You kissed her, and you LIED to me! How could you!?"

"Erin, it's not like that! She kissed me, not the other way around!" Jay exclaimed.

"What does that matter!? You lied to me Jay! I don't care who kissed who, you shouldn't have lied to me! You broke our promise, and if you lied about this I can't help but think about what else you could've lied to me about."

Jay could feel his anger boiling up. How dare Erin accuse him of lying!? "Hey! I've been honest with you from the beginning! You're the one who's always hiding shit from me! You never let me all the way in!"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean!?" Erin shot back

"It means that you're the one always hiding shit Erin! Your past, your family. You didn't even tell me what happened with Voight that night with Justin's killer. How are we supposed to build a relationship when you won't trust me!?"

" ... I've got to get out of here." Erin cried, grabbing her purse and rushing through the hallway.

"What? Erin!" Jay called as she ran out the door "Erin come back!"

Jay's body slumped as the door slammed shut in front of him. He reached out to open the door, but his hand froze as it touched the doorknob. He was too angry right now, and he knew going after her at the moment would make the situation ten times worse.

With a heavy sigh, Jay moved away from the door and walked back into the bedroom. He sent Erin a quick text, asking for her to call and tell him where she had gone to, and that he was sorry for everything. He lay back on the bed, phone clutched tightly in his hand waiting for Erin to return.

~LIFE'S SURPRISES~

Kim shuffled her feet tiredly through her apartment, rubbing her tired eyes as the knocking on her door continued.

"Alright already, I'm coming!" She yelled as the person began to knock once more.

Kim flung the door open, ready to give the person on the other side of the door a piece of her mind for disrupting her beauty sleep, but was cut short when she saw her best friend, tears falling from her eyes while she stood shivering in her doorway as the Chicago snow hit against her body.

"Erin! Get inside it's freezing!" Kim exclaimed grabbing Erin's arm and dragging her into her apartment "What happened? Are you okay?"

Erin shook her head, tears still falling from her eyes as Kim wrapped her arms around her in an attempt to warm her up.  
"Can I stay here tonight?" She whispered sadly. Kim simply hugged her tighter and nodded her head against her friend's shoulder.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 ~ Brinkley.**

Jay stood in the living room staring at the view from his and Erin's apartment; it was getting quite late and Erin still hadn't returned home. It felt strange to be home without Erin, and a lump of guilt sat in the pit of his stomach because of what Candice had done. He dragged his feet to the kitchen counter and picked his phone up and dialled Erin's number again. Jay wasn't surprised when it went straight to voicemail.

He knew she would have gone to Burgess's, part of him wanted to go and talk to Erin. But he knew she needed space. So instead, Jay sat on the couch in the hopes Erin would eventually return his call. After waiting a few hours he eventually fell asleep with his phone held tight to his chest.

The next morning Erin woke up to the sound of car alarms, police sirens and cupboards slamming in the kitchen. She heaved herself up off the couch and walked to the entrance of the kitchen, rubbing her tired eyes she managed to smile.

"I honestly don't know how you sleep in this neighbourhood... it's so loud!" Erin exclaimed.

"I dunno... I like it. Knowing there's people around me and I'm not alone. You get used to all the noise." Burgess lived in a tiny apartment tucked away in the back streets of Oak lawn. It wasn't the greatest of neighbourhoods but Burgess seemed to love it.

"You feeling any better this morning?" Burgess asked. She had stayed up almost all night while Erin cried and vented about everything going on with Jay and Candice.

"Yeah, thank you." she sat down at the small round table in the corner of the tiny apartment "Sorry you had to see me like that. I don't usually cry in front of people. It's just ... Lately everything's been so hard, and it's all building up. And the Candice thing just pushed me over the edge, you know?"

"Yeah I get it. You should see me before that time of the month." Burgess laughed as she left to go have a shower.

Erin sat at the table staring aimlessly, before grabbing her phone to look at the calender. Her eyes widened and she inhaled deeply.

"Hey Kim..." Erin walked straight into her friend's bedroom "I'm late." she added.

"For what?" Kim looked confused, her hands fiddling with the hair tie in her bun.

"My period, I'm four days late ... I've never been late in my entire life." Erin started struggling to breathe scratching her collar bone, the beginning of a stress rash on her chest. She'd suffered from anxiety ever since she was a little girl, and she'd always break out in a rash when she was overwhelmed.

"Okay. Calm down" Burgess grabbed Erin's shoulders "You've been under alot of stress lately okay? It's completely normal to be late when you're stressed."

Erin ran her hands through her hair and sat on the bed with her hands covering her face.

"I can't be pregnant Kim! I can't have a baby. Not now" Erin said distressed.

Kim didn't know what to say, instead she sat on the bed beside Erin.

"Okay... how about before you have a panic attack we go to the chemist on the way to the district and buy a test? That way you won't have to freak out all day and then you'll know for sure."

"Oh my God. Jay. How do I tell Jay when we're not even talking?" Erin's mind was all over the place. She tried to convince herself it was just because of stress but too many things fell into place. It would explain why she's been so emotional and worked up over everything lately. And why she's been feeling bloated and eating more than usual. Maybe she was in fact pregnant.

"I need to call him" Erin got up frantically looking for her phone.

* * *

Jay stayed up all night waiting for Erin to call or text or better yet, come home but it didn't surprise him that she never did. Jay was getting ready for work when his phone buzzed on the table; without hesitation he rushed to the counter top and answered it immediately without even checking who it was.

"Hello?" He said sharply.

"Hey... it's me" Erin replies softly.

Jay sighed in relief "are you okay? Where are you?"

"We gotta talk um-" Jay cut her off before she could finish.

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry about _everything_. I was coming home to tell you, not that it matters but I wasn't going to lie to you I promise"

"Jay-" Erin tried to get a word in but Jay continued to apologize. He stopped talking and the call went silent before Jay spoke again.

"Are you still there?"

"Yeah" Erin murmered

Jay knew something wasn't right and he knew there was more to it than him not telling Erin about the kiss right away. He felt pathetic for throwing apologies at her as if it would make her heart hurt any less.

"Talk to me" Jay said in a calm voice "tell me how mad you are. Scream, cry I don't care just talk to me" Jay assumed this was what she was bottling up. Maybe he'd hurt her so much she didn't have the ability to say anything. But something wasn't right and he could sense it.

On the other end of the line Erin was lost for words. Not because she didn't know what to say, she had a lot she could say about this situation. But her mind was going crazy thinking about the possibility of being pregnant. She loves kids, but she and Jay had never even talked about a family not to mention wanting to start one.

Almost instantly Erin started to feel sick, it happened so quickly she didn't have time to think.

"I'm sorry Jay. I shouldn't have called, I can't talk right now" Erin hung up abruptly and ran to Kim's bathroom and dropped in front of the toilet bowl, throwing up for what felt like hours.

Kim ran into the bathroom and was mortified by the state Erin was in. She was shaking and as pale as a ghost. "Erin you need to see a doctor. Why don't I call Maggie and get you an appointment for a blood test with Natalie. You need to know for sure"

Kim kept insisting Erin go to the hospital before work and much to Erin's dismay she finally agreed. But it had to stay between them. That was the deal.

"Okay so I'll drop you off and just give me a call when you want me to come pick you up" Kim said while locking the door to her apartment.

"It's just a blood test, It'll take 10 minutes." Erin said harshly, regretting her words immediately "Sorry."

It was complete silence on the way to the hospital. Erin just started out the window before Kim spoke.

"Look, I know you're scared and that's completely understandable. But you are the strongest person I know, you and Jay will figure it out. And for what it's worth, you would be an incredible mum." Kim rubbed Erin's shoulders as she gave her a small nudge to get out of the car.

Erin shut the door then leaned down to the window.

"Thank you Kim."

...

Inside the hospital, Erin sat in the waiting room filling out forms for Maggie when Will saw her.

"Erin, hey... what are you doing here?" He asked in concern "are you okay?" He added.

"Will, hi!" Erin said startled trying to hide the paperwork to avoid him being suspicious "Um ... we have to get mandatory blood tests for work"

Will laughed "you had me worried for a second, how's that brother of mine?"

"Jay? Um yeah, he's good..." Erin replied awkwardly

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't look so flash?"

Erin laughed and shook her head "Yeah. Hospitals just make me nervous."

Will smiled, and hugged Erin "tell Jay we gotta catch up soon, I'll see ya around"

"Will do." she sat back down and continues to fill the form out before a nurse came into the waiting room.

"Erin Lindsay?"

Erin took a deep breath and followed the nurse to a small room where Nat was labelling the vials for Erin's blood.

"Hey Erin" she smiled hugely.

"Hey, how are you?"

"I'm good ... So just a blood test today?"

Erin nodded.

"Cool, I just gotta ask you a couple questions" Nat said while shutting the door.

She went through a lot of questions like when did she eat last, any medication and all of that jazz before asking the question Erin didn't want to hear... she didn't want to have to say it out loud.

"So why are you getting a blood test? There's no prescription ordered by your doctor" Nat looked up from her clipboard of questions to see Erin face.

"I'm late... My period it's late and I think I could be pregnant. I mean I'm on the pill but I was on antibiotics for a few days and I couldn't take the pill because my doctor said it would interfere with the antibiotics and now I'm freaking out because I can't be pregnant and-" Nat quickly stopped her.

"Erin. Take a breath... These things happen and that's okay. It could easily be stress or diet related."

Erin was breathing heavily and leant back in the chair.

"When will you have the results?" She asked while Nat pulled the needle out of the sealed plastic.

"Since we're a hospital and we have so many labs running in a day, it usually takes about 4 days to a week but since it's you I'll put a rush on it and you should have it by the end of the day." she clasped Erin's upper arm so her veins were more prominent and told her to squeeze her hand into a fist.

Erin closed her eyes and looked away.

"Okay now take a deep breath" Nat inserted the needle and took Erin's blood. She sealed it away in a tube and place it in a plastic bag.

"I'll call you later today with the results. Try not to stress out to much" she said while placing a small patch over the tiny incision hole.

"Thank you. And can we please keep this between you and me? I can't have anyone know, okay?"

Nat nodded in agreement "Of course Erin, all our information is both private and confidential."

At the district Jay was pestering Kim asking where Erin was and why she was late.

"Is it because of me? Because we talked this morning and she was acting so weird" Jay said in a panicked tone.

"For the last time no, she just had some stuff to do" Burgess growled. She was never good at keeping secrets and was worried she'd accidentally let the truth out to Jay.

Perfectly timed Erin texted Kim asking her to come pick her up.

"Hey sarge, can I go out for a minute. I just gotta pick Erin up"

Voight looked at her sternly "Where from?"

Burgess froze. She sucked at lying as it was, but to lie to her boss! Her palms started to get sweaty, she attempted to collect her thoughts. Or more like an excuse.

"Uh, She's at the bank." With that Burgess turned around swiftly and left immediately before anyone could ask more questions.

Ruzek laughed to himself as she left "she's so awkward when she lies. I love it." he mumbled with a smile.

Burgess had picked Erin up and they had just arrived back at the district.

"Oh by the way I told everyone you were at the bank." Erin just nodded, she hadn't said a word the entire drive.

They walked up stairs and Kim went straight to her desk meanwhile Erin and Jay sat across from each other, barely making eye contact. The tension was thick. Erin cocked her head towards the locker room signalling for Jay to meet her in there to talk.

They stood there in the locker room for a moment just staring at each other before Erin said something Jay wasn't expecting.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have hung up on you like that this morning. And I get that she kissed you, not the other way around. I overreacted"

Jay stood there startled for a moment "I was expecting you to yell at me or something."

Erin shook her head in disagreement "I have nothing to yell about. It's not your fault Candice is a man stealing bitch"

Jay laughed at Erin's comment, and just seeing him happy made her happy. She let out a smile and laughed too, the first real smile she'd had that day. Erin leaned in and give Jay a quick kiss just as her phone rang.

Her heart skipped a beat as she saw it was Nat calling.

"Could you give me a minute please?" Erin asked, and Jay nodded before heading out of the locker room to finish off his paperwork.

"Hey Nat." Erin said in an almost out of breath voice, since she was so anxious.

"Hi Erin, it's me. I got a rush put on your results and they just came in... I need you to come to the hospital immediately" Natalie's voice was so calm yet there was something off about it.

"... I'm pregnant aren't I?"

"I'd rather not discuss this over the phone. Please just come to the hospital. Now." Natalie said firmly.

Erin didn't tell anyone she was leaving, instead she took Jays keys from his locker and went out the back entry. On the way to the hospital she couldn't help but notice every mother walking their children, or pushing their prams along the sidewalk. Is this what she had to look forward to for the next eighteen years of her life? Did she even want to be a mother?

She walked into Chicago med's reception and asked a nurse to see Nat, they took her to a small office down the hall where Nat was waiting.

"Erin. Hi." Natalie was expecting Erin but she was also startled to see her this quickly.

"Was the test positive?" Erin said in a demanding voice.

"The test confirmed you weren't pregnant." Erin sighed in relief "But it did show something else."

"What do you mean?" Erin asked. Nat sighed and looked down at her page.

"Erin I think you should sit down." Natalie said, her voice slightly shaky.

Erin furrowed her brows "Nat ... what is it?"

Nat let out a loud and sad sigh "Erin I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but, you have cancer."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Hey! Sorry updates have been lacking, but we're working on that! For the people who were a bit disappointed in the cancer storyline, and to those who sent me PM, I would just like to say that Cancer is something that has affected both mine and Brinkley's lives, we've had friends and family who have been affected by this and it's why we chose cancer as Erin's illness. It's something close to use and something we know we can relate to in our writing. In saying that, I hope you stick around and read our story, and if you choose to not to we totally understand :)**

 **Chapter 8 ~ Maddie**

 _"_ _Erin, I think you should sit down." Natalie said, her voice slightly shaky._

 _Erin furrowed her brows "Nat … What is it?"_

 _Nat let out a sad sigh "Erin I am so sorry to have to tell you this, but, you have cancer."_

…

Erin dropped into the chair, her knees feeling weak "Cancer? I don't … How?"

Natalie shrugs "Unfortunately, I can't give you that answer. There are a lot of factors, and different causes. It's hard to be able to pinpoint one."

Erin blinked rapidly, trying to keep the tears from falling "Okay so, what type of cancer are we talking?"

"We need to do a few more tests to confirm it, but given your symptoms it's most likely that you have ovarian cancer. Sometimes women think they're pregnant, the symptoms can be easily confused."

"Well then, what makes you so sure that I'm not pregnant? That this, whatever this is, is cancer?" Erin exclaimed.

"Your symptoms were suspicious when you came in yesterday but I didn't want to worry you unnecessarily. So I ran a blood test that looks for tumour markers, in your case the marker that came up was cancer antigen 125, which indicates ovarian cancer marker. However, the tests aren't 100% fool-proof, so we need to do some more tests now."

Natalie watched as Erin sat frozen, her eyes shock-wide and her body rigid.

"Erin." Natalie placed her hand on Erin's shoulders "I get that this is a lot of news in one go, but we need to runs some tests and get an idea of what's going on with you."

"I'm scared Natalie." Erin whispered as the tears finally fell from her eyes.

"I know, but I'll be with you every step of the way. I won't leave you today I promise."

Erin nodded her head a few moments later and stood following Natalie out of the doctor's office. Natalie introduced to Erin to Dr Green, Chicago Med's oncologist. They spent the next hour performing a physical exam, extra blood tests and a separate pelvic exam to see if Dr Green could find any tumours.

Natalie had stuck to her word never once leaving Erin's side. She spoke to her about the whole process, explaining every medical term and making sure Erin was comfortable the entire time.

"So, we might have to schedule you for a biopsy a few weeks from now, but that'll depend on what the tests indicate. As you can see on the ultrasound, the mass appears to small, and from what I can see so far it's only on the right ovary." Dr Green explains

"That's good news?" Erin asks nervously looking to Natalie.

Nat smiles slightly "It's a better result than most people."

"So, what are my options then? Chemo, radiation?" Erin rambles

"We'll have to wait until the results get back, but at the moment I think a laparoscopic procedure may be our best alternative. It'll also help us to determine what category of ovarian cancer you're in." Dr Green informs Erin handing her a bunch of pamphlets "These will explain all your options, and the different types of ovarian cancer. If you have any questions feel free to call me, Natalie will give you my number."

"Thank you." Erin mumbled before she and Natalie walked out of the room.

"How are you feeling about everything?" Natalie asked escorting Erin to the hospital exit.

Erin simply shrugged "It's a lot. I just … Everything's so full on right now. Jay and I aren't talking, work's stressful and Bunny's won't quit bugging me. I don't know how I move forward with this Nat."

"Can I make a suggestion?" Natalie asks.

"Sure, why not?" Erin says.

"I think, that you and Jay are way too strong to let some stupid bimbo get in the way. You two have fought so hard to be together, and he admitted it was a mistake to lie to you. I think you two need to move on from this and then, when you're ready, you tell him and Hank about the cancer."

Erin nodded, staying silent as she pulled Natalie into a hug when they reached the car "Thank you for today Nat, I don't think I could've lasted without you."

"You would've been fine Erin. You're strong. But I'm glad I could be there for you. Let me know if you need anything okay?"

"Okay. I'll see you and Will for dinner tomorrow night anyways right? Jay and Will organised dinner a few weeks back right?"

"Yeah, I'll see you then." Natalie smiled "Drive safely Erin."

Erin sat in her car for a few minutes, staring out at the small park area across from the hospital. She sat in the silence, staring at the pamphlets in her hands. A million thoughts flooded her mind, and she broke. She threw the pamphlets onto the passenger seat screaming as the tears flowed down her face. She started hitting the wheel, trying to find a way to let out her anger. Her cries subsided into soft sobs, her head falling gently against the steering wheel as she let her emotions escape her.

* * *

Jay paced the living room floor of the apartment as he waited for Erin to come home. It was now nearing 6:00pm, and Erin was supposed to come home over four hours ago. Jay was now calling her for the 24th time, when the front door creaked open. Jay turned and saw Erin enter and he rushed over to her and hugged her, holding her tight as she noticeably sagged against him.

"Are you okay!? I've been worried sick, you weren't answering your calls, you didn't reply to my texts, I was one call away from telling Voight to –"

"Can we sit down?" Erin interrupted and Jay noted the sad tone to her voice,

"Sure … Are you okay?" Jay frowned leading her over to the couch.

Jay sat down on the couch, watching as Erin stood nervously in front of him. Jay took her hand in his and tugged slightly so she would sit down next to him.

"Erin, can we please talk about this? I get that you're upset with me, I should've told you about what Candice did, but I just didn't want to hurt you. I'm so sorry. Please, just talk to me."

Jay was surprised when Erin lay herself down on the couch, resting her head in his lap and placing her legs on the pillows on the other side of the couch. Jay cautiously placed his hand on the top of her head, stroking her hair and down to her arms in an attempt to comfort her.

"Erin, what's wrong? You're starting to worry me." Jay whispered.

Erin just shook her head slightly "Can we just … Put this whole Candice mess behind us? You made a mistake, one I know you won't make again. I just want to enjoy the peace and quiet with you."

Jay smiled warmly, leaning his head down to kiss Erin's cheek "I love you."

"I love you too." Erin mumbled.

…

Erin lay awake in bed that night, watching Jay as he slept peacefully beside her. How was she supposed to tell him she had cancer? How was she going to tell Hank? What was going to happen to her job? There were so many uncertainties, and she didn't know where to start.

Her mind kept going back to Natalie's words about her and Jay; _You two have fought so hard to be together._

Their whole relationship had been the two of them fighting to be together, to not let anyone stand in their way. They'd survived so much, surely they could survive this too.

She was pulled out of her thoughts when Jay rolled over in his sleep, his arm coming to wrap around her midsection and he pulled her closer to his body. Erin lets her eyes close, enjoying the feel of being cuddled up with Jay.

 _'_ _One more day.'_ She thought to herself _'Let's just stay in the bubble one more day.'_

 **A/N: Thanks for reading. I know this was a bit of a filler, but I wanted to just get some of the medical stuff sorted so we can start showing Erin telling everyone, and Jay finding out, etc.**

 **Please leave us a review, they really help us to know what you'd like to see in the story, and what we're doing right :)**


	9. Chapter 9

Erin had woken up early after a restless sleep, the only thing on her mind was how she would tell the people she loved that she was so incredibly ill. She hadn't noticed how sick she was until Nat broke the news to her two days ago ... Everything became clearer.

Instead of having her morning coffee Erin heaved her body out of her and Jay's bed and went straight to the shower. She felt so heavy and drained, emotionally and physically; Nat had advised her against coffee as it would make her body weaker. She stood in the shower and watched the water run of her limp and frail body, it wasn't evident to her how much weight she had lost until she was in the shower that morning.

"Morning babe" Erin was startled when she heard Jays voice.

"Uh ... morning" she said as she turned herself away from Jays view. She had never been ashamed of her body, nor was she ever embarrassed for Jay to see her, but that morning was different. She felt so vulnerable and like nothing was familiar to her.

"You okay? You moved around a lot last night?" Jay asked as he used the toilet.

"Mhm" she said while folding her arms across her breasts to cover herself even further.

Jay pulled his black boxers off and turned to face the shower.

"How about I join you?" He said seductively.

"Actually I'm almost done" Erin immediately turned the taps off and snatched her towel off the rack as she left the bathroom in a flustered mess. Jay was quite shocked by her reaction; even a little offended.

Jay walked out of the bathroom with nothing but a white towel wrapped around his waist.

"Not gonna lie... I'm a little shocked you turned this body down" Jay joked with a laugh. He'd noticed Erin's change in behaviour. And after everything that happened with Candice he's been trying his best to make her laugh, he thought they'd sorted everything out that night but something was just different about Erin.

"Yeah... just not in the mood I guess. Do you mind if I leave without you? I've gotta go sort something out."

"Ummm, okay..." before Erin walked out of their bedroom Jay grabbed her wrist gently and pulled her back "are we okay? I thought we'd sorted everything out and-"

Erin interrupted him before he could finish.

"We're fine. I promise, I just have to go deal with some stuff" she gave him a soft innocent kiss before leaving.

Erin had gone to see Nat before work. They had to schedule a date to start treatment and Nat wanted to give her a list of medications to avoid taking and vitamins and other medication to boost her immune system.

It all felt like a lot, and she wasn't sure how she was going to cope. One thing she did know, was that she needed help from the people she loved. And unfortunately, that could only happen once she told them the truth.

* * *

Walking up the stairs to intelligence felt so daunting. Erin was going to tell the unit about the cancer that day, but after her oncologist explained the severity of it she knew she wouldn't be able to get the words out.

"You're late" Voight said sternly as she walked up the last stair.

"Sorry" she bowed her head and tucked her brunette locks behind her ear.

Voight looked at Jay, he just shrugged. It was clear something was going on but the two of them had no idea the truth.

They didn't have a case and it was a slow day in intelligence, it was becoming more clear to everyone that Erin wasn't herself.

"Erin, my office" Voight demanded as Erin placed a glass of water on her desk.

She hesitated before he gave her what she called "the look" and she knew he was serious. She walked into his office slowly and sat down in discomfort. Hank knew her, maybe even more than she knew herself; but there was no way she would be able to get this past him.

He started at her for a while before he finally spoke and ended the silence.

"Are you pregnant?"

"What? No!" Erin exclaimed. Hank squinted at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Did you and Jay break up and you're just not saying anything?"

"Hank stop. Jay and I... Jay and I are fine." she fiddled with her palms and couldn't even look hank in the eye.

"Then what the hell is going on? You haven't been yourself the past few days." he raised his tone.

She finally looked at him, she looked him right in the eye and she almost cried. But she didn't want to break down, she had to be strong when she told him.

"Hank ... I'm sick." she inhaled deeply and held her breath.

Hank knew, he didn't even have to ask how sick. Something inside him knew that it wasn't good.

"Ovarian cancer." she added in a whisper.

"Oh my God... Erin I'm so sorry I-"

"Don't... don't say you're sorry because that won't change anything Hank. I'm still ... sick" her voice started to quiver and that was the moment it hit her.

"Does Jay know?" Erin shook her head 'no' in reply.

"I'm still trying to process it on my own you know?" she said with a small forced laugh to lighten the mood.

"You need to tell him Erin. When you start treatment you're going to need all the support you can get, especially from Jay. When Camille was sick I was her rock; I bathed her, I clothed her, I cooked and cleaned. I know this is scary but you're going to need someone to do all that for you, to help you. And that person is Jay. You've got to tell him."

"I know. Trust me I know. But I don't want things to change, I don't want him to look at me as the cancer girl..." before Hank could answer Commander Crowley knocked on Voight's office door.

"You're needed in a meeting Sargent." she said as she nodded a hello to Erin. Lindsay smiled back and got up from her seat.

"I'll talk to you later." Erin said to Hank.

That evening everyone in intelligence was finishing off paperwork and filing it.

Jay kept an eye on Erin all afternoon, checking to see if she was okay; even if he had no idea what was going on.

Voight walked out of his office yawning into his palm.

"You can all go home early tonight. Not much else you can do here."

Everyone smiled and sighed in relief. Everyone was exhausted and just wanted to go home, and it was pretty clear Erin wasn't handling the long days very well. Her skin had turned pale and she had purple bags under her eyes, not to mention her tiny frame was shaking tremendously.

Jay had his arm wrapped around Erin's shoulders as they walked to the car.

"What do you want for dinner?" He asked.

"I'm not that hungry." she said moving away from him and walking to the passenger seat of the car.

"Are you sure? You didn't eat breakfast and you hardly touched your lunch."

She sighed loudly as she sat back in the seat and looked out the window.

"I'm not hungry just leave it." she snapped.

Jay didn't say anything in reply, he just started the car and reversed out of the parking lot. When they got home the two were silent, Jay switched all the lights on and Erin went straight into their ensuite to take a shower. She threw her bag onto the couch on the way to their room.

Jay turned on the TV to make up for the silence between them.

"I'm gonna order some pizza!" Jay yelled from the lounge room, not surprised when Erin didn't reply.

He grabbed his phone off of the kitchen table but it died before he could dial the number.

"Babe I'm borrowing your phone." he grabbed the black bag off the couch and began to search for her phone. He laughed to himself at how much stuff Erin carried around in her purse but eventually found her phone. His eyes scanned a few pamphlets sitting in her bag and he picked them up, trying to convince himself that he didn't see what he thought he had. And when he saw the title everything fell from his hands as he tried to brace himself for falling, his eyes scanning over the words once more.

 _'Ovarian Cancer: Telling your Friends and Family.'_


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 ~ Maddie**

 _"I'm gonna order some pizza!" Jay yelled from the lounge room, not surprised when Erin didn't reply._

 _He grabbed his phone off of the kitchen table but it died before he could dial the number._

 _"Babe I'm borrowing your phone." he grabbed the black bag off the couch and began to search for her phone. He laughed to himself at how much stuff Erin carried around in her purse but eventually found her phone. His eyes scanned a few pamphlets sitting in her bag and he picked them up, trying to convince himself that he didn't see what he thought he had. And when he saw the title everything fell from his hands as he tried to brace himself for falling, his eyes scanning over the words once more._

 _'Ovarian Cancer: Telling your Friends and Family.'_

Jay quickly grabbed the pamphlets from the floor and walked out of the bedroom, not hesitating before he barged into the bathroom. Erin turned around surprised.

"Jay!" She exclaimed "What the hell are you doing? Did you not hear me say I was going for a shower!?"

It only took one look at the mixed emotions spread on his face for the lightbulb to go off in Erin's mind.

He knew.

Tears brimmed his green eyes and his Jaw clenched tight.

"What the hell are these?" He held the flyers up. The words 'Ovarian cancer' printed all over them.

"Jay, I was going to tell you. I-"

"You should have already told me!" Jay yelled. "I should've known the moment after you did! I'm supposed to be there for you, I'm supposed to help you, and protect you. How the fuck am I supposed to do that when you couldn't even tell me?" His voice began to break as the tears started falling from his eyes.

"I was scared ok!? Look, at first I thought I was pregnant, and it was just after you and I had that fight over the whole Candice kiss thing, and when Nat told me I panicked! I swear I was going to tell you Jay, I just needed some time to process. Please understand, I'm so sorry" Erin was crying by the time she finished, her tears falling hard and fast as Jay watched her.

He could feel his anger simmering down, replaced with heartbreak and sadness that his girl had to suffer through even more upset in her life. He walked towards her and pulled her close, wrapping his left arm around her back and cradling her head in his right as she cried into his chest.

"I'm so sorry." Erin cried over and over again.

"I know. I'm sorry too babe. He whispered softly as he held her tight.

They stayed like that until Erin's cried subsided to a soft whimper. Without a word, Jay stood and pulled Erin up with him guiding them into the bedroom and sitting her down on their bed. He sat behind her and pulled her into his arms so she was laying against his chest resting between his legs.

"Does anyone else know?" He asked softly.

Erin sat up to look at him "Natalie obviously but, I ... uh ... I told Hank this morning. I needed his permission for time off for my treatment."

' _Of course, she told Hank first.'_ he thought.

"Please don't be mad I told him. It wasn't like I wanted to tell him either, honestly I wouldn't have told him yet but I needed him to know for work. I wasn't ready to tell either of you, or anyone really." She sniffled.

"You can't lie to me about these things Erin. I know that you're the one that's sick, but this doesn't affect just you. How could you think that I shouldn't know about this?"

"I was scared!" She exclaimed "We weren't in a good place, with everything that happened with Candice. And I know that we're at a serious point in our relationship but we haven't actually been together that long. I didn't want you to feel obligated to stick around just because I was sick."

"Who said I was going anywhere!?" Jay yells "Dammit Erin! When are you going to get it through your head that I'm not going anywhere!? You can throw whatever you got at me, but I'm not leaving you."

"I know." Erin cried, collapsing into his arms murmuring "I'm so sorry" over again.

Jay could feel his anger resolving, He didn't want to fight with her.

"I know you are. We're going to get through this okay? You and me, we got a long life to live together. I promise I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure you live it with me." He whispered pressing a kiss into her hair.

Erin fell asleep shortly after, and once Jay could hear her light snoring he reached over to grab his phone from the bedside table where it was charging, drafting up a new text message.

 _We need to talk. Call me in the morning._

~ LIFES SURPRISES ~

Jay walked into the bullpen early the next morning. He had left a note on Erinms bedside table that he was going to the gym so she wouldn't worry when she awoke. He took a deep breath calming himself before walking into Hank's office.

"Halstead." Voight acknowledged, his voice concerned "What did you want to talk about?"

"I know." He simply stated "About Erin."

"And?" Voight asked.

"I uh ... I know we're not close. But, I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

Voight scoffed "the woman I consider my own daughter just told me she has a disease that could kill her, the same one that took my wife. I'm not okay Halstead. I'm dealing."

"Right. Stupid question. Sorry. But ... if you ever did want to get something off your chest..."

"I know where to find you." Voight answered.

Jay stood awkwardly from the chair and began to walk out of the office before being stopped by Voight calling his name. He turned around expectantly.

"You're good for her. I know I don't tell you that enough, but you are."

Jay looked shocked "thank you Sir."

"Take care of her."

"I promise." Jay said with a smile "Um Sir? I have one more thing to ask..."

"Of course you did." Hank muttered "Sit back down Halstead."

 **A/N: Apologies for any spelling mistakes. Hope you liked this chapter, please leave us a review and let us know what you think!**


	11. IMPORTANT NOTE PLEASE READ!

Hey guys!

I'm so sorry this isn't a new chapter, I hate when people do this and I have never had to do it before, but people were messaging me about updates on this story and I figured I should explain why it has been sitting here without a new chapter for so long.

I originally had a co-writer on this story who had planned out the storyline for this, however she decided not to write with me anymore and I didn't have the inspiration to write or outline this story because I was not 100% happy with the storyline as it is, and as it was going to be continuing in the future.

SO now I have decided to not continue this story, however I WILL BE REWRITING this story! There will be some changes to the storyline compared to what has already been written so I will keep the original version up for comparison, and it will take some time before I post the new version of this story, I will let you all know when I do.

I hope to see you all when I post the new story! It will probably be in a month or so after I wrap up my other cpd story 'Another Broken Heart You've Left Behind' as I want to be able to focus on this story and writing it the way I want it and making it the story you all deserve to read because you have been so patient with me.

Thank you for your understanding,

Maddie :)


End file.
